I Am But A Vessel

Nov 06 

Recently, I’ve been listening more to what I feel my purpose is as a new musician. When I say “new”, I mean, new to the public (I’ve enjoyed countless nights playing music to myself for many years). Now, I am stepping out in front of people- which makes me increasingly uncomfortable but internally fulfilled.

Over time, my reason for singing and playing music has changed.

Me in my teens enjoyed music as a form of self-expression. When I couldn’t communicate with words, music helped to fill in those gaps.

Me in my early to mid-20’s, was a closest musician. I still very much played for myself. I was selfish. I felt like the whole world wouldn’t understand me. And so my relationship with music deepened. But at the same time, I still felt strongly that I didn’t want to share it with anyone. It made me feel vulnerable which made me feel uncomfortable. And no way was I going to make myself feel even more uncomfortable than being in your early 20’s already does.

Fast forward to my later 20’s, and I feel a sense of stillness within myself. I am learning now that music isn’t just MY form of release. But for many others too. Music is healing. I am seeing now that it isn’t something to keep to myself because perhaps many others can heal through it in the ways that I have.

I am no longer the carrier, but a vessel. A vessel that with sounds, can tell a story.

My purpose as a musician is to be the voice for all those who- just like me, felt trapped inside my own body. Unknowing how to release so you can begin to heal. Emotions are not something to be ashamed of. I was for majority of my life. But the second my ears lock in on a song that expresses everything I ignored, I feel heard. I feel seen. This is why we do what we do. This is how I want share my voice.

-Si